either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she peed on how many people?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
