ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sponge bath it is.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
