I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize