Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
