that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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