How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
