I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
