Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize