Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
