end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
