A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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