so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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