That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
