idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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