you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Never underestimate the power of titties
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
