Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
