Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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