Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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