Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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