For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize