He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
