Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
