Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
