am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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