i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
