i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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