you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
