hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
