We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize