yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
