i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
