i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
