I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
