I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
