you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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