even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
