Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
