I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
