Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
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I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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