How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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