Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
