guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
