is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
