After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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