goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
