Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize