She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
