I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
