i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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