i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
