I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
