So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
