That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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