There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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