I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize