If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
