so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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